By Phil Schwarzmann
Get the directly tale on surviving and thriving within the pleasant land of one thousand lakes, and most significantly, the way to seize and retain that exact woman. easy methods to MARRY A FINNISH lady: every thing you must find out about Finland that Finns Won’t inform you is a must-have for an individual contemplating a visit up North. inside of you’ll learn:- how you can Chat Up a Finnish woman- tips to establish a Finn on vacation- easy methods to construct your individual condominium Like a true Finnish guy- Why children converse Finnish higher Than You- And More!Phil Schwarzmann is an American dwelling in Finland, the place he works for a wide Finnish cellular phone producer, authors the preferred weblog “Finland for Thought”, and plays stand-up comedy. he's normally thought of a pleasant man. this is often his first booklet.
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Extra info for How to Marry a Finnish Girl - Everything You Want to Know about Finland, that Finns Wont Tell You
Example text
WHAT YOU NEED TO SURVIVE: An oscillating fan. AUGUST The jewel of Finland lies in a Finnish forest, so Mari takes you up north to her family’s summer cabin. She takes care of all the cooking, cleaning, and sauna preparations while making sure a cold beer is always in your hands. The sun’s glimmer off the lake is hypnotizing. Wearing pants and a jacket in the summer is a bit strange though, and shitting in an outhouse wouldn’t be so bad if it wasn’t for the audience of mosquitos around your private parts.
Xeroxing your butt will never be tolerated so lightly back in your home country. TIP: Take the workplace harassment up a notch: Instead of making fun of Russians, make fun of Swedish-speaking Finns. At the water cooler, boast about the cooler’s “big jugs” then refer to the tap as a “nipple”. Steal an entire server. Setup a Twitter account for your penis and tell your co-workers that your penis is now “following you”. You’ll be on Finnish unemployment in no time, earning 80 percent of your original salary for years to come.
You can focus on what matters the most: Updating your Foursquare location. Best of all? The driver will happily take your Diner’s Club card as payment! Diner’s Club! (NOTE: If you asked the driver to take you to the Old Town, he’ll drop you off at Tallinn ferry—that leads to Helsinki’s Old Town). @philschwarzmann – The ferry from Tallinn is a museum of old laptops and ancient Nokia phones. I pulled out my iPad—passengers think I’m from the future! The Helsinki Metropolitan area is made up of over a million people.
