By Jerzy Kosniski

In a masterpiece of affection and loss via one of many world's maximum writers, Fabian travels in his VanHome from one finish of the rustic to the opposite, looking, judging, and testing--himself such a lot of all.

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The surgeon began the operation, with a microphone under his chin, describing to his students each step of the process, his choice of move and instrument. Suddenly, Fabian coughed. Taken aback, the professor dislodged and dropped to the floor a clamp that tied off a blood vessel. From the open vein, blood flooded Fabian’s throat. He began to choke. Reaching for a spare clamp on a portable tray, the nervous assistant knocked the tray down. Another assistant ran out to bring clamps from another operating room.

He refused to think of “sleeping with somebody” as synonymous with having sex, the bed in which sleep and sex took place being often their only point of communion. Sleep came easily to him, and it was deep; his sexual urges beckoned often, their span very brief; he went about their fulfillment as in the crafting of an artwork, ultimately independent of the artist’s own life. He did not see himself as sexually desirable; to be given sex was a favor, and he was always ready to return one favor for another—the gift of a meal in his VanHome or in a restaurant, a ride on his pony in some park, advice or money.

You keep looking around. ” She was certain by now that there was nothing in him that could interest her, and she returned to her original state of boredom, drying his hair hastily, in her rush scalding his scalp with hot gusts from the hair drier. He paid the cashier, then returned and gave her a tip. She pocketed the money without a glance. “See you around, polo player,” she said, a joyless smile barely breaking the line of her lips. It was warm outside. Fabian decided to find a park to walk in.

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