By Shari Y. Manning PhD, Marsha M. Linehan PhD ABPP

Individuals with borderline character affliction (BPD) may be intensely being concerned, hot, shrewdpermanent, and funny—but their habit frequently drives away these closest to them. in case you are suffering in a tumultuous dating with somebody with BPD, this can be the booklet for you. Dr. Shari Manning is helping you know why your wife, loved one, or pal has such out-of-control emotions—and easy methods to swap how you can reply. learn how to use easy but strong options that may defuse crises, determine higher barriers, and extensively rework your courting. Empathic, hopeful, and technological know-how established, this can be the 1st ebook for friends and family grounded in dialectical habit remedy (DBT), the simplest therapy for BPD.

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Additional resources for Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder: How to Keep Out-of-Control Emotions from Destroying Your Relationship

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Awkwardly he tries to regroup, protesting that he doesn’t understand Sandy’s reaction. ” Mike gets more and more flustered, his mind racing as he tries to figure out what to say to keep Sandy from having a total meltdown in front of her friends and family. ” As you probably know from experience, it’s the unpredictability that you can count on with emotional lability—when someone has extreme emotional reactions that are quick to change, you never know what exact reaction you’re going to get. At another time, Mike’s confusion at Sandy’s initial anger might have evoked not more anger but instant self-­loathing and shame as she realized that she’d done the wrong thing (again).

The teacher says that her daughter is struggling in reading class. Jill feels very sad about her daughter and then begins to believe it is all her fault. Her shame and guilt build to the point that she needs to do something to feel better. She stops at the local department store and buys clothes that are on sale. When she gets home and realizes how much money she has spent, she is mortified. ” Jill turns on the TV and finds herself sobbing during a talk show. Finally, she pulls out a bottle of vodka.

People like this woman are not only emotionally very sensitive to cues; they also have reactions that are very strong, more intense than for the average person. What would be sadness in most becomes overwhelming despair. What would be anger becomes rage. What would be embarrassment becomes humiliation. The intensity of the emotion is out of proportion, and, usually, so is the expression of it (your loved one may go to bed for days, cry in public, scream, and yell). This is what we call emotional reactivity.

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