By Josef Ben-Eliezer
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Sometimes I have felt guilty: maybe David would have lived if I had not taken his place. On the other hand, I am thankful for the miracle that I am still alive after deliberately putting myself in danger so many times. Because I was mostly in the explosives unit, I never actually killed anyone close up, but I was plagued with flashbacks of my comrades dying in battle. Pangs of guilt for my mother’s death and my father’s unknown fate haunted me still. I could not overcome this inner turmoil and the malaria only made things worse.
I wanted to go to Paris. After the war, Paris was a meeting-place for many nationalities and ideologies. I hoped to get work as a lino-typist in Yiddish, so I spent six months training for that trade. Meanwhile, I worked night and day to learn French. Finally, I left Israel for Paris in May 1953. com 14. The Paris Group M y main contact in Paris was my cousin Berta who had moved there from Israel a year earlier. Through Berta, I met Jakob Halperin, whom she later married. Jakob was a gifted speaker and he headed up a committed group of Leninists in Paris.
But a psychiatrist somehow encouraged me to give it more time; she even gave me some money to get by on. Somehow she managed to rekindle something inside me. I began to gain more hope after I found a job and started working again. In spite of my depression, I still hadn’t given up my search. I went to courses and watched documentaries about the Hitler era. I wanted to understand how the Third Reich could have happened. When the neo-Nazi party held a rally in Munich I went to experience what kind of atmosphere was there.
